Soooo, for those of you who didn’t know, I was in the jury of the Norwegian Grammys this year. Only music industry decision makers and famous musicians gets asked to do it, so I was very honoured to get asked. You gotta love how social media has enabled unsigned artists to build a career! Anyway, I enjoyed listening through all the metal albums and found the task very intriguing \m/
Now, the most important award show in Norway is quite a major A-lister event if you are from the most northern part of Europe and this was supposed to be my first major red carpet event! ( I had a couple of award nominations in the US in the past but was never able to attend). Now, one woman had the responsibility for all the people in the different juries along with a whole bunch of other tasks, which meant that no one was really there to look after new voting members, like introducing you to people, none of my music industry friends were going, so I went all by myself. I guess the most accurate description of how I felt that night can be demonstrated by this picture…
I missed out on my first rendezvous with the tabloid press… ( I was supposed to walk the red carpet but someone told me I could not do it…. only for me to discover later that I was supposed to do it….) and since I live abroad and don’t know who is who of all these Norwegian VIPs I have to admit I was kind of bored walking around there with my drink in the VIP area all by myself. In retrospect I should just have gone over to the bar and gotten myself piss drunk ( to be a proper rock-star), instead I left early and went back to Pringles and FB in my hotel room. This made one of my rock star friends literally cringe and probably cry of laughter…when I told him…Soooo…instead of being lame I should just have hijacked this opportunity to really make an everlasting impression on the Norwegian media. I should have made a serious statement! This is what I should have done at my first award show!
1) I should have done a “Kanye”! Come on now, Norway doesn’t have their own “Kanye West” and we sorely need one . I should have stormed the stage and dissed Morten Abel for winning an honorary award.
2) I could have wrestled with one of the winners. I could have stormed the stage and grabbed a Spellemann shouting “It’s mine, it’s mine!!!!!”
3) I could just have done a Jarvis… the guy who hated Michael Jackson and tried to sabotage his stage show!
4) Gotten myself naked and just ran across the stage
5) Punched a paparazzi, the whole tabloid media was there so why not? Better sooner than later, right?
6) Assaulted an editor “why didn’t you write about the album bitch”- I heard that tactic works well for future features…
7) Kicked a celebrity in the nutts…I mean…I don’t know…remember I’m hypothetically drunk as hell…I have no idea what I’m doing..
8) Started a cat fight! It’s like the previous suggestion but hotter!
9) Jump into the arms of a random famous guy, like any famous guy, just to get attention! Strategically in front of a photographer…oooooops!
10) Vandalise the place! Anything to get arrested!
I need to develop a drug habit. So I can act erratic and get everyone talking 😛 I mean the Norwegian Grammys was boring to go to alone, I even had a +1 option but no one to go with 😦 😦
But I mean going back to your hotel room to chat with people on FB and eat Pringles and assault the mini-bar is a proper rock’n’roll failure, hahaha 😛 😛
So if anyone knows of a discreet D-R-U-G-D-EA-L-E-R or alcohol endorsement please let me know so I can trash the next event I go to 😛 😛 😛 😛 I’m sure that would be a clever move \m/