I have a tiny problem. Don’t we all? Read my confession.

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This entry has been deleted as I now feel that I was  engaging in over the top, over-sharing.

In retrospect this entry can also be labeled as incorrect as I was assuming that I had issues with OCD, a diagnosis I’ve never officially received from any health care professional.

This entry was also written out of fear, since I had reason to believe that a couple of people in the music industry were spreading negative rumours about me. This made me feel that I had to write an entry to excuse some silly behaviour in the past, that were minor transgressions, to be honest.

Yet someone who all of a sudden decides to hate you, will stop at nothing to make you look bad, especially if they feel that they “save themselves” by throwing you overboard.

When I wrote the entry that I’ve now deleted, I was taking the high road, ridding these two individuals of any responsibility, when the truth is that the fault equally lay with them.

This gallantry was something I was not thanked for by neither of these two parties, so it shows that taking the high road and trying to be civil a lot of times is a waste, as it doesn’t necessarily results in forgiveness.

On a different note….

Anxiety/Stage Fright etc; are pretty usual emotions that the majority of  the population would face if they were put in the right situations, just as feeling occasionally low in spirits does not necessarily qualify as a depression. If something disables you from leading a normal life, it would make you eligible for the “mental-issues” tag, but there is a general increase in the population of people throwing around  diagnosis and self-diagnosing when such a thing would be highly inappropriate.

Of course I’m not suggesting that I’m not quirky, as I certainly am guilty of being very much so, but I express my apologies for prematurely “coming-out” when such a thing was unnecessary and misleading, both then as it would be now.

I apologise again for letting fear dictate my actions and I thank those of you who sent me their best wishes. Thanks.

19 thoughts on “I have a tiny problem. Don’t we all? Read my confession.

  1. hello

    Fascinating and honest post!

    Have you heard a therapy called Emotional Freedom Technique? It’s a technique based on acupuncture and meridian points, and helps to release stuck or unwanted thoughts and emotions, It’s very good, you should try it for your anxiety and OCD.

    Theres tons of good videos on youtube, have a look at Brad Yates and find a documentary called ‘The Tapping Solution’ by Nick Ortner, they’re both on facebook too.

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0CFOx8j1Aa4

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0CFOx8j1Aa4

    Like

  2. madbaldscotsman

    Lol not weird stuff at all. Anyway, three things I’ve learned has helped me as we are the same in a few ways: 1. The world is suffering. 2. The cause of all suffering is desire. 3. You can choose not to desire something, but if you do – make a contract with yourself to accept the consequences of your choice. This has helped me MUCH in the past. You obviously have a high IQ and that can be an interesting dynamic among those who don’t.

    Like

  3. Blair Carmichael

    C in C, please remember that you have an army of fans who love, respect and support you! Find your inner strength and show us again how strong a woman and musician you are.

    I am still trying to get my head together after you blew it off!😘

    Like

  4. dont try and fix yourself. This is who you are, by all means seek help to assist you to make life easier but if you constantly see yourself as broken then you are trying to fix who you are, instead work with your strengths, put your energy into what you love and what you are good at, forgive, learn and forget. You are fabulous, you just made a mistake like we all do. Say sorry and move on. If they can’t it’s their loss. 😚

    Like

  5. Joseph F. Menozzi

    So, what’s wrong? Your childhood idiosycracies mirror my own– except that my blanket was washed occasionaly. You are obviously a quite intelligent talented and yes, gutsy young lady who is trying too hard to figure people out. Don’t bother. Most folks haven’t the slightest idea of what they’re all about anyway. Try to relax and laugh at people, and especially at yourself. Meditate for a while every so often. What you are doing (therapy) is the correct thing to do– be honest and open. Performance anxiety is another issue, but in your classical videos it appears as though you are having just a marvelous time—such a cool attitude!! Best of luck in your quest for self-understanding—- it will be well worth the effort. You have many blessings and the heart to accomplish so much and bring sonic joy to many many people!!!

    Like

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