Digital Spring Cleaning – Behold the Glory.

This blog entry was originally written in the early months of 2018.

So my computer has become increasingly slow when I wake it up; and I’m crediting this to all of the various data and  files that have accumulated over the years. With this in mind I decided to retrace my “questionable” digital trail, to figure out what on earth all of this mess is.

The most embarrassing file to have surfaced at this point is probably this piece of brilliant retardation, where I look like I’m addressing members of my secret African militia, with a giant Patton flag in the background. I mean, check out the swag. This was my look in some videos that we made ages ago to some people who had bought a limited edition care-package or donated to my PayPal or something of that sort. I’m amazed that I haven’t been sued by my fans for traumatising them with ridiculous stuff. How glorious to know that these type of thank you videos were sent out to members of the public. Behold “Dictator-In-Chief.” The worst part is that I probably thought that I looked really cool back then. (Cringe)

FULL ON COMMANDO

How awesome it must have been to receive a personal thank you video like this. “Commander Goose Spray – reporting in from a resistance bunker in an undisclosed location somewhere on the African continent – give me your children for my war effort or die!”

I don’t know what is worse: how I look like or how I sound like in these videos. I nearly fell off my chair due to laughter when I found them again, since I had forgotten all about them.

I wonder what the recipients really thought?

If there is an Alt-Uprising or White-Sharia in the near future over here in Europe, I might get thrown off a roof top, for all I know, for looking weird, I’ll certainly be fined for “odd-dress” or maybe I’ll be employed as the chieftain of court jesters. Gotta love the fact that I’m trying to look serious in these videos though.

If you want any advice regarding self-propaganda in the digital age then don’t hesitate to call me….

On another note … If you want to unlock exclusive video content where I don’t look like an idiot you can go here: My Patreon.

 

Online Magic….

Hey check this out Toby Keith is following me on Twitter!

following me

Oh, hang on … all the accounts are fake. Never mind!

Hey I got a new follower on Twitter!

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Hmmmm…….”Fake News” follows me…..

How cool.

 

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Hey check this out “Ramen Records” just contacted me on Soundcloud!

*Googles Ramen Records*

Finds This:

“This weekend (November 4th) Glitch Records have set up a new account with the name Ramen Records. We’ve confirmed they are the same people by submitting a dummy track which was immediately given fake plays and the email we got is from the same John Dallagher at the same email address as when we tried this same technique with a Glitch Records link, and a Glorify Records link before that. It’s the same fake activity company.
What’s bad here is that there are some legitimate labels called Ramen Records.”

Hey check this out I got “groupie mail.”

groupie mail

Conclusion:

I’m going to be signed to Ramen Records while collaborating with my best pal Toby Keith; I have a hot sexy blonde babe waiting for me, who is … well hang on … a woman? I also have the entire mainstream media following my blog to learn what real news are!

I knew it.

I’m like…. soooooo smart.

Sacrifice Everything Memes

Best blog post I think I’ve ever seen! I’ll pin this to the top of my own blog this instant!

evolutionistx

I woke up this morning with the realization that I needed to make a meme about Nongqawuse. (Context.)

These were the result:

In 1997, 39 members of the Heaven’s Gate cult committed suicide in order to reach a UFO they believed was accompanying comet Hale-Bopp.

In 1978, 918 followers of cult leader Jim Jones committed suicide by drinking poisoned Kool-Aid–the origin of the phrase, “Don’t drink the Kool-Aid.”

Mathematician Ted Kaczynski, unable to find a publisher for his manifesto, Industrial Society And Its Future, turned to mailing bombs to professors.

82 Branch Davidians, led by David Koresh, died when their compound burned down during a raid by the ATF. It appears that the Branch Davidians set the fire themselves.

The Thugs were an Indian cult that ritually strangled and murdered travelers.

Timothy McVeigh killed 168 people in 1995 when he bombed the Alfred P. Murrah Federal…

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A Very Important Announcement!

I’m happy to inform my readership (and whoever else who might bump into this blog) that I’m about to change career due to an incredible job offer that I’ve received over Instagram!

Not only have I been approached by the “Illuminati Outreach Organisation” I’ve also received a promising message from “the military unit” in Afghanistan, who wants me to be a courier and transport money for them!

As we all know there is only one military unit down there and it makes perfect sense that they are looking for someone who they can trust on Instagram!

Sounds legit.

My close friend the Major (who’ve I’ve only received one message from) also provided me with his personal email; and I have to say that I feel greatly honoured.

I don’t know what I’m the most excited about but I’m looking forward to this next chapter in my life!

Of course I’m not doing this because I’m short of cash since I’m actually filthy rich!

You guys might remember that I announced my new-found riches in 2015 (READ HERE) after I received an uplifting email from Africa letting me know that a vast inheritance was due to me!

It is great when life bestow us with great luck and fortune and I’m thrilled that I’m not only a millionaire, but also part of the U.S.A. Military, in addition to literally being “illuminati confirmed.”

Sounds like the times ahead will be exciting!

I shall now give thanks to humanity (since praying to God belongs to antiquity according to the PC-brigade in the current year).

So I shall say that I feel blessed by man; which would probably be the best way to frame it regardless…..

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The Best Picture Ever….

I really dream about being rescued by the guy in the picture above….

Just think how mobile it must be to slay Dragons while eating an ice cream…

Looking at how this guy is holding his shield, not to forget his facial expression, I’m convinced that he would be a great instrument of war…

He certainly looks like he is ready to conquer the world↑

Whoever wants to have my hand in marriage has to pull off a duel with dripping ice cream in hand, while being backed up by a slender female archer … who will certainly not have any upper body issues at all whatsoever while keeping a Vogue-like pose for seemingly forever…..

I love the facial expression of total retardation as well. Very attractive!

I’m convinced that you’ll wake up everyday with styled hair too if you are fighting some sort of battle….

I’ll put this picture in a frame … if I was looking for someone to fight for me I would absolutely pick this guy 😀