Lats year I decided to phone up a good old friend of mine who I hadn’t really spoken to properly in ages. It was a great chat but it was also an educational one for me, since my friend couldn’t get over the fact that she had been in an abusive relationship. She kept on going and going and going about this negative experience.
It confirmed to me that when a negative experience is true, the victim of it (whether the person(s) like(s) to consider themselves a victim or not) will never get over it, or might ease out of it after first mentally obsessing over it, only to then talk about it on “repeat” with friends or family members, before finally letting it go.
After this act of emotional “processing” the trauma or negative experience falls into the psychological “archive” department and might be re-ignited due to association if a similar situation occur in the future. Thankfully the memory goes into “sleep mode” or retreats to a dormant state, even though it is still there, buried within the mental jungle.
Just like I’ve witnessed other people get stuck in this sort mental and emotional “loop,” I also experienced something similar after the successful “trolling” of me online back in 2015.
When I first became aware of that it wasn’t just me that was accessing my social media profiles I had my list of suspects, which is probably why I was just annoyed but not necessarily alarmed….
I previously wrote about how the number of shares on my blog entries were drastically reduced over night, after my birthday entry in 2015. I had previously also spoken about how lame it was that I had issues with promoting a military-themed music video in late 2013.
As far as the social media “trolling” was concerned I thought that a friend of mine was pulling my leg, and thought at first that it was an American editor character. When I realised that maybe I was mistaken, I had another prime suspect that had lurked in the back of my mind for quite a while; an industry character that I had worked with in the past, who also works on programming and was/is involved with a confidential project for the U.S.Government.
(Talk about the perfect storm for a conspiracy theory).
Last on my short list was another show biz character who is involved with a cult notorious for spying on its members…
If anyone of my readers watched the TV show “Hannibal” you might remember the “alternative” (to put it mildly) friendship between Graham & Dr.Lecter. For those who have read a little bit about criminal profiling it isn’t uncommon for guilty people to express their concern and be remarkably helpful, even towards those that they’ve hurt.
Visiting the families of those they’ve killed is one example, feigning empathy.
It was therefore not strange that I suspected some show-biz characters that I had bumped into…
At a certain point though it really started to piss me off that someone was having a laugh on my behalf, trolling and pestering me big time, without me being able to get the weirdo to stop. I actually suffered from sleep -Apnea for a little while, since I had no idea who was messing around with me.
Was it a dangerous criminal from the high-security prison I had performed in? Was it a bored Google or Facebook employee? A bored NSA or GCHQ employee? A random fan with tech-abilities? A crazed, mad show biz person obsessed with my person for whatever psycho-reason?
There was no way for me to know.
My misery reached its peak when I was in the mountains of Norway and it dawned upon me that whoever was tormenting me probably knew where in the world I was due to my phone. It was a low point where I stayed awake the whole night and even decided to put a knife under my pillow, just in case.
After succeeding in frightening me the nuisance stopped after 5 months.
I wrote about the experience and certainly talked about it.
It seemed like the insanity had come to an end, but I was still wondering what on earth that whole thing had been about, since I never really figured out who was behind it.
In 2016 I noticed some awkward things, but just brushed it aside. I took screen shots and shared these online if there was anything weird and just kept on going with my “secret project.”
In 2017 I started to wonder if my online stalker had left me at all, or if the person in question had just gone into “stealth mode” since I was logged out of my Instagram account repeatedly without me doing it. I even experienced my Instagram starting to live a life of its own, while I was on it. My computer also had some strange moments, but I did not really think too much about it and just shrugged it off.
Then in November 2017 I was catapulted straight back into how I felt in 2015 when the social media craziness erupted once again while I was in Norway to attend the funeral of my grandfather … What ensued was even worse than last time, and it hit its peak after some blog entries I had written about the current U.S.President in December 2017, which made me wonder if I was being stalked by a total Trump/Conservative hater, who now had even greater reasons for loathing me. I also started to ponder if I was dealing with a “machine,” or simply put a “bot,” since some of these can be programmed to literally “haunt” you online.
You feed information to the machine and the machine throws it all back at you, or can use it against you somehow.
I have/had a hard time believing all the trolling was/is simply “machine-based” though, I’m pretty confident there is/was some flesh and blood behind it; which would be the case regardless as someone sent this thing my way.
I have no idea why I was targeted. It would be easy to say that it was politics but that wouldn’t ring true for 2015.
After the Facebook scandal I deleted my account since it then dawned upon me that my data could have ended up anywhere. If my data was abused, which I’m guessing was the case, I’m guessing once again that it was all done “in the name of research.”
If I wasn’t the only target then I’m guessing that we’ll see massive law suits in the future from angry social media users pissed off that their personal relationships were compromised, their data used against them and their emotional well-being manipulated by invisible “trolls” online.
What you put out in the world comes back to you. Especially un-ethical behaviour if it is on a large, organised scale.